From all moms to working dads...
We are sorry.
We are sorry for the mess.
We are so sorry for the clutter.
We are so very sorry for the dirt and crayon and paint. The cheerios mashed in the cracks of the hardwood floors. The playdoh that stained the kitchen table.
The dishes all over the kitchen when you get home.
The living room that looks like a tornado.
The piles of laundry that don't seem to ever get smaller.
That spotless house that you left behind when we decided to have kids.
We really are sorry for this mess.
But its not about the actual mess.
See, what we really are sorry about is that you don't get to see it. We are sorry that you miss the mess. We are sorry that you don't get to experience the memories behind that mess.
Bryan,
I really am sorry that you weren't there to celebrate that Ellis learned to drink from a cup for the first time. All you saw was the water on the floor from the 85 times he did it wrong.
I truly am sorry that you missed the time that he made the connection between the block and the right hole that it goes into. All you see is the 300 blocks on the ground.
Im sorry that you missed the amazing game of "stop!" Go!" that we played for at least 30 minutes. All you see is the destruction that came of all the running and stopping and dancing and laughing.
I'm sorry that you missed the impromptu dance party right after lunch. The one that included pants on our heads and making an absolute fool of myself all to get a grouchy toddler to stop crying...all you saw was the highchair still covered in food when you came home for lunch.
Mostly I'm sorry that you see piles of unfinished laundry when I see an afternoon of snuggles from a baby girl that just wanted her mama.
I am sorry. I really am. Because I know you would love to be there. I know that you want to be a part of these memories. And I know it's hard for you to understand when you come home from a long day at work.
Please know this:
I appreciate you.
I appreciate what you do so that I can be there. So that I can make the mess with our kids.
Moms...lets promise to start telling more of the stories. Because your husbands weren't there. And all they see is the mess.
...and it's so much more than just mess.
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this is a beautiful perspective!! to both dads coming home to the mess & to mom's living in the mess. thank you!
ReplyDeletethanks, Anna!
Deleteyou made me cry. I'm a working mom (outside the home) and I can still relate and I send my apologies to my hubs as well... but I'm sad I miss so much of the little things that are really the big things. thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteIt's so much easier to respond when we put it in a better perspective. I write these things for myself, too...telling stories instead of getting upset when they don't understand why the house is so messy is not something I've perfected!!
Deletethis made me cry. i'm preggo with our second & stay home. so so so sweet & well said :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, friend! Congrats on # 2!!
DeleteHi, Kendahl! Just clicked over to your blog from the Thrive core team page. It said you were their graphic designer. Great work! Just wanted to comment on this wonderful blog post. It is hard for them to understand the stories behind the mess when they come home from a long day at work. And, you're right, we should share more of the stories. Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful post- even for us people without babies! I love that I've reconnect via stalking your blog and insta after not seeing you since our life guarding days! Your kids are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this!!! It would do us good to write like this, even for ourselves! This way, on the bad days or in the tough hours, we can be reminded that there is sooo much more going on than whatever we're struggling with. Beautiful words. I'm glad you can see beyond the mess! :)
ReplyDelete