Not Me Monday (Episode 9)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. For those of your unfamiliar with the idea, Not Me! Monday was born out of a desire to admit some of our imperfections and reveal a few moments we'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to

join in and do the same thing!

***UPDATE***

for those concerned, I DID take the "please note" out of my voicemail.

I apologize for my moment of weakness... ;)

This week, I definitely made up for my lack of "not me's" from last week...

Well, let's start off with the fact that Bryan and I are not still in our bad eating rut. Seriously, there is no way that we had McDonald's twice this week, one night ate only Caramel apples for dinner, and definitely didn't eat trail mix in bed more than once this week. That's just gross and unsanitary. Seriously. Gross. Not us.

Also, it was not me who has been so irritated (because I don't get irritated) at people who think that photography companies are open 24 hours a day. People calling all weekend asking for immediate call backs don't frustrate me. So, it surely is not my voice mail that now states "please note our office hours are..." "Please note"? I would never be so

matter-of-fact-borderline-harsh in a voicemail. Not sweet little me...

(Oh and it didn't take me about 30 minutes to record the new message because I couldn't get it in just the right tone that I wanted it to be in...polite but down to business...)

Bryan and I inherited 200 pounds of raw veggies from the Dave Shultz Food Imporium last week. We are very appreciative of his generosity, but we had to find something to do with all of the veggies! Therefore, it wasn't me that decided last night to make a "spinach veggie dip" instead of just getting out the bottle of ranch dressing in attempt to consume of some of the veggies. So, it wasn't me that thought it was a good idea to stray from the ingredients and add a few of my own (not with my cooking history...). No way. And it wasn't me that ended up with this green-mess that in no way shape or form resembled a veggie dip.

(just part of the veggie collection...)

(My "Spinach Dip" AKA - green goop)

Oh and did anyone happen to see this picture, that I tweeted about on Saturday?

Well, for those still wondering what happened...

It was not me, in an attempt to be nice and let someone sit at a table with us at the reception, who thought it was a good idea to lean on the folded chair next to me as I scooted over to it. I would never think that a folding chair would hold my weight as I moved over with a cup of bright red punch in my other hand. I surely did not lean on said chair, causing it to fold up in half, resulting in my chin smacking into the table and my bright red punch being spilled all over the table and my husbands white dress shirt. Not me. Oh, and the other people at the table were not so completely appalled at the situation that they didn't even laugh. They surely didn't just stare at me in dusgust leaving me to be the only one laughing at myself. Not at a wedding. Not in front of complete strangers.

Not me. Please lord, not me.

And furthermore, while waiting for the reception to start (pre-drink spilling catastrophe...) Bryan and I did not go up to the balcony and attempt to get a picture of ourself on my IPhone. We did not possibly get caught taking ridiculous pictures like these...never really resulting in a keeper. We aren't stubborn enough to not ask someone to just take the darn picture for us. Not us.

Also last night, While cleaning up the paint from youth group last night, it wasn't me that was heard gagging and spitting out the dark brown painty-water that I mistook for my cup of coffee. Surely I was paying attention to what I was doing enough to tell the difference between coffee and paint! Not me!

Oh, and to top it all off, remember that spinach dip I didn't make? Well afterwards, I wasn't cleaning up the kitchen in a frenzy so that my husband wouldn't find me sulking in my failure when he returned from the gym. And in the midst of this frenzy, I DID NOT pull the beaters out of the mixer so hard that my arm slammed into the bowl of green-mess, throwing it to the ground. Oh, and Stanley was not on the ground when it fell. No way did I spill it all over the floor, myself, and my poor puppy.

Not. A. Chance.

And for those of you concerned at what he is doing in this picture, rest assured, I was not letting him lick a majority of the goop off the floor so that I didn't have to clean up as much. There is absolutely no way I would stop to take a picture of the chaos instead of shooing off the dog and cleaning it up immediately.

None of these things ever happened...