Hard on the heart...

Sometimes a mama's job isn't only hard, but it's hard on the heart.

There are so many books out there on how to be a good mom.  The perfect ways to train your baby to eat, sleep, and poop on command so you can walk around feeling like super mom showing off your perfect baby to all your friends.  But anyone who has been through the first year of parenting knows those books are all crazy.

I'm sure the formulas worked for them.

But they didn't work for my baby.  Or yours either, I'm sure.

I recently joked with a friend about writing a "what not to do" parent book.  I could fill that thing up.
You know with things like...

"Don't forget an extra change of baby clothes on your first trip out of the house with a newborn."

"Don't give your screaming 2 month old 3 bottles of formula in 20 minutes no matter how hungry he claims to be"

"Don't go 2 days without washing your son's helmet..."

"Don't feed your kid tomatoes without a bib"

"Don't let your 1 year old run around naked on the area rug"

and most recently...

"Don't rock your child to sleep for 45 minutes every night and teach him that's the only way to fall asleep"


But what to do...I'm not sure I will ever know.  


This whole crying it out thing is no fun for anyone.  But let's add in the fact that I have a child who likes to throw up.  Yep, I truly think he enjoys it.

I won't bore (err..gross you out) with all the details, but teaching Ellis to put himself down for naps/nighttime has been quite the adventure.

We started our routine...Bottle + story,  paci + a few minutes of rocking.  I then tell him that we are going to go "nigh-night" and lay him down in his crib.  Laying down is more like peeling him off of me and putting him in the crib as he quickly stands up, reaching and screaming "mamamamamamama".

Break my heart.  

(no haters on the whole "crying it out" deal, please.  We have done the whole "rocking for 30-40 mins till he's out and happy...then laying him down while sneaking out of the room praying he won't wake" for months and now we are having to teach our baby how to be a big boy.  It may not be what you choose to do, and that's cool with me :)

So, cry he does.  And I go in once.  That is all.  (I mean unless he throws up, but we haven't done that in a few days, praise the Lord) But I've learned that the more I go in, the longer and more dramatic things get...

He is now crying.  It's been 25 minutes.  I'm sure it will be many more.

But I will wait here.

Outside his door.

Because I will always be right here.  Cheering him on.  I can't always do things for him.

Man, how's that for your sappy lesson of the day?  You're welcome.  :)