Thursday, November 21, 2013

22 year old me...

How often do we pray this prayer?

"Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

I remember growing up we would repeat the same prayer before bed each night..."Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..."  But one night I remember asking my mom if that was the prayer she said when she was a girl.  She said yes, but that they also said the Lord's Prayer.   She started to recite, "Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

From time to time I asked my mom to repeat this to me.  I remember trying to memorize the words...but usually forgot (or stopped trying) after "give us this day our daily bread." 

I don't know why that stuck out to me.  I don't know why I got caught up at that verse.  But still to this day...though I know the rest...I get a little tripped up with the words after "daily bread". 

He does.
He gives us our daily bread.
He promises us what we need.  For that day.  Nothing more and nothing less. 

When Bryan and I were newly married, we lived in a small apartment on an even smaller budget.  I worked in a city over an hour away and drove to and from each day.  He student taught all day and worked all night to make a little extra money.  We sat down one night and I started worrying about the what ifs.  What if you don't get the job you are going to apply for?  What if we have to keep working like this and never see each other?   What if our car breaks down from all the miles I'm putting on it?  What if we can't afford a bigger apartment?  What if our student loans start coming in and overcome us?  What if...what if...what if...?

Bryan told me that night that I have to stop living in the land of what ifs...I can only live in today.  And today I can ask that God will give us this day our daily bread.  And know that he is faithful.  And know that he gives good gifts to his children.  And know that He directs my steps and knows our future.  Even when we don't.  

Bryan was right.  He's a pretty smart dude.

...but I've been finding myself traveling back in the land of what if's lately.  

 What if we don't ever sell our house?  What if Olive has a flat head like Ellis and has to wear a helmet?  What if people don't like my designs and nothing sells?  What if Christmas doesn't look like it has in the past because we can't afford a lot of gifts this year?  What if I'm not working hard enough with Ellis on things he should be learning?  There are so many more.  
And it's silly stuff, guys. 

So, after fretting in the land of the what ifs for a few days, I've decided I've got to stop.  This time I'm giving myself the pep-talk :)   And I'm giving it to you to.  

I can look back 5 years ago and tell 22 year old Kendahl that in 5 years you will have 2 adorable, healthy children.  Bryan will have a steady job doing what he loves and you will live in a cute brick house with a big back yard.  You may not have all the things, but you will be happy.  And you will be loved. 

I can only imagine the great things I will look back and tell 27 year old Kendahl in another 5 years.

What are you worrying about that you need to let go of?  
What are the "what ifs" in your life that you are letting fog the "what is"? 

Because the "what is" is that God will give you enough for today.

1 comment:

  1. Such a great word! Needed to read this today - thank you friend! Constantly praying for you and cannot wait to see and hug you, and meet baby O!! :)


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