Thursday, December 19, 2013

post about pacis

Sometimes as a mom I find myself fretting about the small things.

I even sometimes convince myself that if I go easy on my son and let him break our house "rules" I will somehow break him.  I will somehow turn my kid into the bully in elementary school.  Or the detention bound freshman.  I don't worry about the big things.  We call those the non-negotiables around here.  The "don't touch the stove" the "don't sit on your sister" the "don't hit the dog…or your dad…or the wall".  Those rules are simple to keep.  They keep order.  They keep us safe.  

But the little things.  Man, that's where I slip.

We don't let him stand on the furniture.  But when I'm feeding the baby and he's dancing on the other side of the couch, sometimes I let it slide. 

We don't eat junk.  But when I'm sick and too tired to care, that's when I find myself letting him eat half of my pop-tart instead of cooking him eggs.

We watch a show in the morning and one right after nap.  But when he's walking around yelling for Thomas and I've run out of other things to do, sometimes we watch 1, 2, or 3 more just because it's easy.

And we only have pacis in bed.  Not even the car.  We are pretty strict on this.  But when your kid walks into the room beaming, after discovering his parent's hiding place, aka, the jackpot of all pacis…you just have to let it slide.  Because it's adorable.

So, why do I worry about these little rules?  Why do I hold myself up against all these "perfect" standards as a mom and judge my abilities based on the silly guidelines?  It's like a checklist of right/wrong.  And I pass or fail based on how many things I did right that day.

But this is so backwards.

At church this past week, our pastor asked us a question that changed me.  It has changed the way I think about my days.  It changed my perspective.  

"Are we simply modifying the behavior or shaping the hearts of our children?"

Whether our children follow all of our rules or not is not the only gauge.  It's their heart.  Why are they doing the things they do?  Why are they making the decisions they do?  When Ellis ran into the living room juggling 9 pacis and the biggest smile on his face…he wasn't being disobedient.  He was overjoyed.  He was proud.  He was so gosh darn adorable.  At one point he literally just sat down and looked at them.  Spread them out and touched each one slowly.  And I let him relish in that joy.  I let him enjoy his treasure.  

...But after some time of enjoying, when I asked him to put them away because it wasn't bed time, he did.  He listened.  He wasn't driven by fear of rules.  He was driven by the direction of his mama and he obeyed.  

Do we live our lives like this?  Are we driven by the fear of a rule book?  Do we treat the gospel as a book of right and wrong and judge ourselves based off of it?

Or do we live a life in which we respect our heavenly Father and and Love him enough to follow his instruction.  Do we keep the "non-negitiables" but trust God to guide us daily in the little things?

Now, please hear my heart.  I am not saying that we do not need to be faithful in the small things.  Because we most definitely do.  But that's not what this is about.  This is about freedom from the fear of being perfect.  This is about not being so afraid of the rules that we miss the moment.  That we miss the joy.  That we miss the relationship with the rule maker.  

So seek His direction.  And when He gives you good gifts, relish in them.

…and when he tells you to put the pacis away, put the pacis away. 

1 comment:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...